Indulge yourself in an image for a few minutes or take the time to create a new one. Photographs are a great way to focus and reset without fluff weirdness or stigma.

Why do we need “coping strategies” or “self help” anyway?  We can handle this! Most of the time that is true, but what happens when it is not? We are so often our own worst enemy, treating ourselves in ways we would stamp on others for even attempting.

There is an expectation, not least the one we place on ourselves, that we thrive on pressure and eat stress for breakfast.  Western culture and traditions place men in the role of protector, provider and leader. They have the strength, knowledge, experience and flexibility to do whatever it takes to get the job done without complaining.

Those traditions, that culture is under attack.  So where do we stand now?

Men need an expressive outlet.

Masculinity has become “toxic” leadership can so easily be dismissed as bullying and providing protection is clearly chauvinism for many.  Add to that the blurring of roles complete with added responsibilities and things can begin to become overwhelming.

Oh and by the way if you try and adopt any form of self care you’re going soft and losing the plot!

Those are statements that you may not agree with, certainly not out loud and in public.  They are however all points that you probably recognise and perhaps resonate with, even subconsciously.

Things are not always that bad, in the same way that you can usually deal with things just fine thank you very much.

The simple truth is that our world is changing and we are probably behind the curve.

Previous generations arguably had a simpler world order (world wars aside) and better defined ways of coping with things life threw their way. Closer communities for one thing.  Alcohol and settling things with a proper fight may have been definitive but are no longer recommended strategies, no matter how attractive the prospect.

Sadly I have experienced the worst of everything above, including the harshest self criticism. I certainly do not recommend letting things get that far!  I have often found comfort through the lens, that’s an activity I can endorse.

Taking time to find beauty in everyday objects by switching off auto mode or exploring features on your phone camera is both grounding and stimulating at the same time.

How Can Photography Help?

I caught a piece of the movie “Driven” last night on TV, and the decor in the man cave jumped out.  OK it was John DeLorean’s man cave via a Hollywood set design filter. Still the main feature was a series of photographs of car badges with headlight or tail light clusters.  Proper art photography and very masculine!

The car park where you work or the street where you live may not be lined with classic GTO types, but I’m willing to bet there are a few nice machines around.  You don’t need an expensive camera or an elaborate lighting set up to capture something arty. In fact the whole point is to see what you can get with what you have wherever you are.

It doesn’t have to be cars either, or even outside.  I have a close up of a fresh pencil I’m delighted with. It starred as my zoom background for a while and drew a few comments.  No one else has to like it or even ever see what you capture.   

How can mindfulness help?

One of the basic principles of mindfulness is non judgement.  That literally means that when you are drawn to photograph something it does not matter whether you frame it for the wall or chuck it in the bin.  The value is in spending time playing. It can be five minutes or five hours, whatever you have.

That is time investing in yourself so that you can be more productive, healthier and happier.  If you end up with a piece of art at the end of it so much the better. If not there is nothing lost. You will have had a break and reset your brain to be able to cope better with what you were doing. Time invested is never wasted.

One last anecdote I’d like to share to illustrate the point.

How Does it Work in Practice?

The police used to hand write crime reports. There was a period of transition where they had to be dictated onto a voice bank to be typed up and computerised.  The unit I was in worked in every division and each one had its own log in and passwords.

It was much easier and far more pleasant to go and speak to the typist.  They tended to be friendly, attractive and glad of an excuse to stop for a moment.

One evening in particular I dropped in to a busy divisional headquarters to file a report. It’s a five minute job, two if you hand write them!  The typist was clattering away clearly with a long list of things to type up.  She pleaded for a minute to finish he one she was on.  I spotted the kettle and offered to make a brew, making a friend right there.

I could hear her clicking away and clearly hitting delete repeatedly to correct mistakes.  I guessed she was feeling a bit overwhelmed. She was ready just as I handed her a mug.  I explained about the passwords thing and she could see from my numerals that I was not just chancing my arm.

After just a couple of minutes and a few mouthfuls of tea she announced she was ready to get on with it.  She typed up my report as quickly as I could speak without a single mistake or correction.

The value of taking even such a small break was clear and really struck me.

I have no doubt that she continued to make good progress like that until she started to tire again. That short time of having a different focus paid dividends.

Mindfulness, wellbeing and self care may sound a bit too pink and fluffy, but there is nothing soft about increased performance.  Whether it is about being more effective as a person or the bottom line on the profit and loss account, the investment is worth it.

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